Saturday Night Widows

4 stars


When I first saw this book as a recommendation I thought it might be fun to read a book about a group of women that band together to move towards better times.  I was unaware that this was a non-fiction (Memoir mean anything to you?  Apparently, not to me) work and was completely surprised (I don’t know why since the word, “Widows” is in the title) how much of the book concentrated on death.  I thought I was going to be entertained by silly woman stories of how everyone lived happily ever after.  I’m so glad I completely missed the boat and read this book.  I was amused and educated by Ms. Aikman’s book.  I love underdog stories and I was rooting for all six women in this book.

This story touched me since I’ve lost a loved one in the last couple of years; I have relationship issues that scare me to death and I’ve never completely found where I belong in the world if I’m not sitting with my children.  There were several of these human issues that are addressed in the book and I found myself failing to complete other tasks so I’d have more time to read this book.

There were a few AHAs! for me while reading this book was that grieving people are not necessarily looking for help though they may be sending out those signals.  Becky Aikman puts it this way, “Human beings are programmed to help those in visible distress.  It’s an emotional symbiosis, as ingrained as attraction or a mother’s care, and it is probably one of the more admirable characteristics of the human race, even though it may not always seem that way to the person on the receiving end.”

Another AHA! was when Becky confirmed for me that it was completely normal to not feel sad on my deceased loved one’s  birthday but to come unglued on a Spring evening when we would walk the dog.   Finally, Becky finally shows that fear will hinder you receiving what truly makes you happy.  I love this conversation between Becky and Bob. 

“I was blindsided by my divorce.  It made me questions whether men and women were meant to inhabit the same planet—make that the same universe.  But one nightmare implosion shouldn’t put a person off soufflés.  I could never accept the possibility of a life without love.  It’s like food, it’s like sleep, like breathing.  People are meant to make love, and they’re meant to be in love”  “I like soufflés, but they fall”, I [Becky] countered.  “And they’re not the only source of food.  It’s okay to like soup, too.  And it’s valid to find satisfaction in a variety of friendships instead of one overarching, all-consuming romance that might blow up in my face.”

“He gave me a long appraising glance, “No offense, but soup is soufflé without the air.  There’s magic in soufflés.  Settling for soup when you want soufflé is the act of a coward.”

Well said.  So back in the saddle I go.  A bit more hopeful, a bit smarter and a bit more educated.

Dogs

I’ve mentioned in one of my Random Thoughts postings that I miss my dog terribly.  He died a year and a half ago.  I dream about him frequently and I had a funny dream recently about Dexter.  I should mention that I’ve always dreamt a great deal and I tend to remember my dreams.

So in my dream I was playing with my beloved golden retriever, Dexter, and my family came up to me to see what I was doing.  When they saw Dexter they asked me where he came from and when I explained to them that I went back in time to get Dexter when he was healthy (without arthritis and cancer) and brought him back.  My family was thrilled.  They all said, “That’s great” as  they greeted Dexter, petted, played with him while he munched on his doggie treats and wagged his tail.  They were so excited for me to have my pal back.  I took Dexter with me many places and on hot summer evenings I said, “Come on Dexter.  Let’s go outside and drink a beer.”  He’d follow and lay at my feet while I drank beer and he ate his organic apple treat.

When I was reflecting back on the dream I thought it was funny that not only was my family exceptionally happy to see Dexter, but they didn’t blink an eye when I said I traveled back in time.  There wasn’t any question that I was able to time travel and they didn’t ask why I didn’t stop horrible things from happening while I was gathering my dog.  Everyone was just happy that I had my Dexter back and I was happy.  It was a nice dream.

Dexter, as a puppy, with a bunch of children giving him love.

Quotes that make me say, “hmmm”.

 “Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”
~Dr. Seuss

 “A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water.”
~Eleanor Roosevelt

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
~Oscar Wilde

“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”
~André Gide

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
~Mark Twain

“Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”
~Oscar Wilde

“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”
~Jodi Picoult

Sick by Brett Battles

3 Stars

Blake Crouch sold me on this book.  I fell hook, line and sinker while reading his introduction.  The fear of terrible things happening to your children while you stand there helpless to save them has been my biggest fear since I became a parent.  Daniel Ash is the unfortunate parent that wakes up to the cries of his daughter.

This book has three elements that make it a good read.  First, the characters are well developed and I found myself talking to them. “Don’t do that!”  Don’t trust him!”  I wanted them to succeed and bring the bad guys down.  If I could just figure out who the bad guys were.  Second, the story didn’t repeat itself over and over as some books do.  I find that in some books the author assumes the reader cannot remember what happened two chapters previously so they summarize again and again.  Three, the characters do not know who to trust.  They cannot seem to figure out who is trying to kill them or why.

The anxiety is the main feeling I had when I was reading this book.  I must say that Dr. Karp’s demise was quite satisfying.